Went to Temple today ,
See my grandmother& grandfather at the temple D:
I miss them seriously ,
My mother asked me today
:" You don't seems to be sad and missing them at all , after they left."
What do you want me to do ?
Cry over and over timelessly ?
I don't get it at all .
Who says i don't miss , i don't even remember my grandfather's face at all.
What is everybody expecting of me ?
Seriously i don't know .
Everything is coming towards me .
I am not that strong to tahan everything by myself .
Who will understand ? Who will be me ?
Forget about that .

Next , I don't know is this a good news or bad news ?
I know you guys don't know what i am talking about .
Should i be happy over it ? or depressed over it .
Oh my , After i saw that , I almost fainted .
Oh my . Forget about this too .

I don't know whether today , i fai pi qi at YOU is a good thing or bad thing .
Promises breaking ?
I left her behind walking , while she still smile back at me ,
While you are sleeping next to me ,
I almost cried . I know i always don't treasure you .
I am totally not cut out to be the best , While i am always the worse i know D:
I wonder what will happen if one day you are not here .
I always made you cry in the past ,
i am a disappointment , i know .
I am sorry for not letting you to be the most happiest .
i break my promise too , i didn't mean to left you behind .
just that , i don't know what is happening to me either .
i must be crazy !
i know each day i am living , is a wastage to the earth .
i know it is an accident to have me born .
i know , you don't have to deny anymore .
i am not suppose to live , i know .
i am sorry , i cannot help .
I felt like i just sank in the deep sea , & i cannot float up .

I am typing all this , not to gain pitiful , or propose my life to be a weak one .
I am just trying to vent out everything that was in me ,
if not i would really become insane , day by day ,
if all this shit is continuing to happen .
Who will be there when i was falling ?
i cannot even help myself up , Not even other could i guess .
Blissful life that i am leading now  ? Laughs .
FML now then .

Oh my .