Suddenly reflect about myself & realized i might be making mistakes on the walk of my life .
I know i can't be perfect at times , all i can say is i am trying damm hard .
Maybe i am being petty about certain things ,
But you can't blame me , cause thats how my feelings go ,
I didn't want troubles too , I don't have such time to entertain you either .
But now that i am talking nicely , Doesn't mean that i give in ,
But put yourself in my shoes , think for me , what if you appeared to be in my position ?
If i were to like put other people words as mine ? i mean you can do the same , saying that i always finding problem with you and all ? but you think i really love it meh ? if you didn't create troubles , will i have things to find fault with you ? i mean , you can say all you want about me , i will say whatever , you can copy my words , so be it , but if you were to copy someone i love , and the phrases that me and him used to share .
Now that he is gone , all i have was only those memories . Think , you are using my love memories as your phrases like your love . Now step in my position and think for me , how will i feel , i can't be always the one caring for people and leaving my feeling inside me , i am human too , not stone of heart .
I don't really have hate for people.
I know i am not some Big Fuck , Big Boss , that need people to understand me stand in my position , & think like me , i am just telling you the feelings that is controlling me , i can't help .
Cause i am only left with words , Memories & part of love .
Nobody can really understand how it feels to be me ,
i know you will think i am talking cork , bullshits and all , i don't really care , all i know is , i am just speakings whats left in my heart .
I have to face people that are fake in the Day , I have to put on a smile & pretend nothing is happening In the afternoon , I have to Really pretend Everything is Ok in the night , I can only be myself when its after midnight . I have to worried about so many things at one goal , this min that might happened , next min another thing may pop up . I need to fight so hard in order to keep things together . I can't do anything except telling myself tomorrow will be a better day .
And this part here is for someone that was once special in my life .
I know you hate me now , I do hope i know the reasons for it , you used to be my best sisters & now we are less than strangers , We don't seem to talk , we don't seem to joke , We don't even contact . Sometimes i really been thinking to myself , maybe its really my fault that things turn this way , i think back at times , i felt it such a waste , sometimes its the pride that make us this way , but i feel there is nothing i can do do make it right again . When you are willing to let it go , tell me , i will be more than willing to have you back at least a friend , i am not trying to find friends cause i don't have , but i am trying to keep those laughter with me again .
I felt that its hard to keep Everybody together as one ,
like someone used to want me to do ,
I am trying my very best to solve those misunderstanding ,
I am heartbroken at times seeing you guys quarrel and fight ,
But i can't do anything isn't it ? But i hope if you guys happen to see this ,
Please think about how we came close , How we actually became strangers to friends to brother and sisters .
Don't you think its a waste .
i know friends are everywhere , But think the one you can actually trust wouldn't be your so called " friends"
Remember , friends will always be there when you needed them , not leave you alone and suffer.
I really hope we can become close like how we used to , i can't handle everything myself , i need all of your help and support too , i am not any superwoman or heros , i am a normal 17 year old girl on the streets .
What if one day i am gone , will you guys come together as one and visit me ?
Or excuses will be flying around till my body was burned ?
I will pray everyday , use every bit i could to pull back the friendship , brothership that i used to see .
i know i can't forced things , but thats the end , i am trying to keep up to it .
For my love , I felt disappointed but alittle chill ,
Cause at least i don't need to hear the sentence yet ,
disappointing is , i didn't get to see you , i miss you alot .
people , please do treasure when you have the chance ,
if you felt sad about breaking up with your Bf or Gf ?
Its not your worse yet , cause you still at least text , call or even see him/her at times .
counted yourself lucky already , don always think that you are the worse ,
count yourself lucky already . :)
I really hope people out there could think about what i have said for this .
I know i posted a lot . Whatever you guys think about this , feel free to tagg ,
tell me about your comments , i am talking about real life story over here and not made up stories .
:) take care people ,
Treasure what you have now , cause once its gone , its gone forever .
Tomorrow will be a brand new , better , great day :)
May god bless you .
