Hi ,
I have been doing some soul searching for the past 3 days .
I don't like to talk about this ,
but maybe its kind of good if i could share my own story .
I sat on bus , listening to music ,
like before , thoughts flash by .
Looking at the streets that i step on before , the memories that have been haunting me for long ,
Am i just in love with the past ? or is it so hard just to let you go .
Even my white hair and pimples are popping out .
I still can't get an answer .
I could just cut those emotions , cause as i know , people may think that i am attention seeker ,
or want people to kelian , but NO .
its just that no matter how i type , no words would describe my feelings , or even could anyone understand ?
Sigh , is the best i could give .
I used to think that i can do anything on earth ,
Gain those experience , i never have a thought of regret ,
because , what has pass , its the past .
If i don't learn now , i would miss a great lesson in my big lifetime .
I always thought that studying was a waste of my time ,
but come to think about it , i really miss studying in beatty secondary school .
Those kind , is really fun , memories , that nobody could imagine .
but now having to study on my own , made new friends ,
still not sticky to them , is not a bad idea , as i could concentrate more .
The only problem i guess is , I don't seem like a click to them ,
We don't have the same topic , don't have the same mind set .
But i guess , i just have to move on with life hur .
Come to think about it , The people around me changed , that i don't deny ,
Sometimes i really wished i could share my feeling to someone .
Its not that i don't trust , its either , you guys have no time to hear ,
if not even if i say , nobody know how i felt right ?
I know i always have been saying the same old thing ,
same old answers have been repeating ,
but the problems still remain .

I guess I will never hit the best in your heart .
I tried enough , i am fucking-hell beat .
thoughts , negative thoughts have been controlling my mind ,
i can't help to think this way ,
There is nothing i can do to change anything .
The old you , wouldn't be back anymore right .
I think i really should stop dreaming ,
Because once you are awake , you still remain as nothing .
no improvement , no nothing .
Your angel ? I felt so hard even just to please you .
When can i stop crawling into your heart .
there aren't any express train right ,
Each step i made , the deeper i fall .
I will always be the last one & the only one behind the neverending race .
All i know now is ,
I , need to stop walking into the deepest sea .